【TOEFL Writing】賛成?反対?「テレビが友達や家族とのコミュニケーションを破壊した」という意見について

相当苦し紛れですが、これを30分で書きました。
だいぶ量は書けるようになってきたようです。
ただ、事実はだいぶ曲げています。

■Question
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

■My Opinion
I agree with the opinion that Television has destroyed communicaion among friends and family for the following reasons.

First, in Japan, where I live, few people do not have television, and the fact has made people not go out from their house. For example, many years ago, one of my friends started to live alone. First of the term of his living alone, he had not have television, so he and I often had met together and communicated a lot of things we had ineterested in. However, after he bought his own television one day, the number of invitations of meeting from him were less than before, and now, we has not met and communicate at all. As this example illustrates, I think that Television has destraoyed communicaion among friends and family.

In addtion, especially, in Japan, many people has had their own room and even television, so the fact has made people not go out from their room. For example, on the condition of my family is that the number of television we have is more than the number of family menbers that is seven. Of course, I have my own room, I have my own television, and all my family members are the same. All of us tend to often be in our room and watch television, so we do not have a chance to talk with family only when we gather to eat dinner. As this example strongly demonstrated , Television has destroyed communicaion among friends and family.

In conclusion, I strongly agree the statement that Television has destroyed communicaion among friends and family.

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